What Would You Choose???

Would you walk away from your dreams in order to be obedient to what God is asking you to do?  Do you believe that God has your best interest at heart?  Do you sometimes find yourself knowing what is best for you....only to realize one day, that you really didn't seek God?  At some point in all of our lives, we make choices that are what we want and not necessarily what God is directing us towards.   

Recently, I had to step back from a decision that I had made.  It wasn't a bad idea.  It wasn't even something that I shouldn't do, but it was MY idea.  It was MY plan.  It was MY future all wrapped up in this pretty picture that I had painted in MY mind.  I had fully decided to embrace this plan and was headed full force...giving everything I had to MY future.  What I didn't think about....was how this was going to affect EVERYONE else in my little world.  I didn't think about how I would no longer be available to give to my family what they need.  I was only thinking about how this would make ME look, how it would make ME feel, and who I would become after I completed this plan.  I never really stopped to think about what I would be taking away from kids or my husband.  

I don't really know what happened on Sunday, but something changed in me.... I guess maybe God opened my eyes.  Actually, I believe it was a conversation that I had with someone else that changed my heart.  The strange thing is....they said nothing to me about my plan, they just listened, maybe...it was the look in their eyes.  The only thing that kept going through my mind Sunday night was, "what was I thinking???"  I had convinced myself that this decision was the best thing for EVERYONE, but it really wasn't. It was only best for ME! 

So after a few days of contemplation and prayers and soul searching.....I am going to step back from my decision and CHOOSE to do what is best for my family and trust that God will use it for good!  I know that His plan is so much better than mine, but sometimes setting aside dreams is really hard.  So, I will walk away again....just as I have done in the past, trusting that God has much better plans, then the ones that I keep trying to create for MYSELF.    

Have you ever wondered why you can make such great plans and even totally begin to embrace the plans?  Then all of a sudden, you experience something that wreaks havoc in your mind and you know it is completely, the wrong thing.  I could have prevented all of the heartache and pain, but once again.....I wanted to do it MY way.  There were warning signs along the way, but the fact that everything went through.....should mean that God was blessing me, right?   Unfortunately, that wasn't the case, this time.  God was giving me an opportunity to CHOOSE obedience!  God wasn't forcing me to listen.  God wasn't even making things impossible or difficult.  God opened every door and then threw 1,000 red flags at me....so that I would have to ignore each one, in order to do it MY way. Something in me, wanted so badly to run and do it anyways.  I kinda think that is what I was doing all along.....running from God.  I didn't want to hear that this wasn't what he wanted me to do.  It made sense in my mind.  It solved so many of the things that I thought, were what I needed.  I wanted to believe, that it was exactly what I was supposed to be doing.  I think that I have known all along that it wasn't the right time.  I have faced opposition and struggled to justify why it was the best idea.  But, in the end.......it isn't all about ME!  So, I am choosing to trust God and to be Obedient!  

Thank you, Lord for blessing me with the gift of choice!  Thank you for allowing me to mess up and still loving me anyways.  Thank you for always protecting me from making mistakes by giving me the ability to see your red flags....even when I would rather pretend that's not what they are.  Thank you, Lord for guiding me on the best path for my life.  Amen

Blessings,

            Jenielle

Where do you CHOOSE to live???

Are you a dreamer?  Lately, I have come to realize that I have a tendency to live in my head. I have learned over my lifetime that when things are difficult and I don't know what to do, I play hundreds of scenarios over and over in my head....the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Do you find yourself focusing on the future?  I believe that many of us cling to Jeremiah 29:11, which says,  "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I believe that the next two verses(11-12) are just as important.  "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."  It is important to know that God doesn't have plans to make you miserable, especially when you are in the midst of trials and tribulations.  God plans to give you hope and a future.  As you learn to seek God in the middle of your struggles, you will also learn that He listens to our prayers and He answers.  The answers may not always be what we hope for and sometimes His answer is, not now.  But, God really does know what is best for each and every one of us!

Sometimes, we get so wrapped up in God's plan for the future that we forget that the here and now is just as important as the future.  Do you realize that the PRESENT was at one time, the FUTURE?  How crazy is that!  When we are so focused on what may happen or what is coming in the future, we forget how important it is that we should embrace each minute of each hour of each day, because these are the moments that God had planned for our FUTURE.  Every day that we get on this Earth with our family and friends is a blessing and a gift!  

When all four of my kiddos were little, each evening before their bedtime we would all sit around in a circle on one of the bedroom floors and sing songs and then everyone would share something that they were thankful for, that day.  My three oldest kiddos are all teenagers now and we still spend time together each evening before bed, but the time is different now.  We spend it reading the bible and praying together.  I'm having a difficult time accepting that a month from now we will have an 18 year old, 16 year old, 14 year old  and 9 year old.  I really don't know where all of the time went.  From those innocent nights that we shared together when they were little, to the time that we spend together now.  They all seem to be quickly approaching adulthood, at least the oldest three are.  I feel like these changes happened over night.  I know that they didn't, but something has triggered in me.....and I don't want to lose anymore moments.  "This is the day the Lord has made.  We will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24   I want to focus on each day, because it is another day that God has given me on this earth to share with my family and friends.    

Do you focus on the PRESENT moments so you don't miss the joy that each day brings? Here are some of the ways that I plan to be more intentional with my family:  take 15-20 minutes of 0ne-on-one time with each of my kiddos daily, pray individually with each of them daily, create moments of joy during the day, have a fun activity at least one time each week, remember to notice the positive things that each person does, instead of always pointing out the negative things, read with them, spend time playing games, and take walks. There are so many ways to find joy in our daily lives.  It is just a matter of being intentional and being purposeful to embrace each moment as it happens.  Are you ready to create more joy in your life?  Another way that you can be intentional is by creating a thankfulness journal.  You could take time each evening, to write down things that you experienced during the day that brought you great joy.  What a blessing that would be to go back and read a year or so later...especially if you were having a bad day!  Remember, that every PRESENT moment was once a FUTURE moment.  Where will you choose to live in the PRESENT or in the FUTURE???  I pray that God will bless you in both your PRESENT and in your FUTURE!

Blessings,
                Jenielle

                           

The Power of Words

What power do words play in your life?  Have you ever stopped to think about how the words that a close friend shares can affect you differently than the same words from an acquaintance or even a spouse?  Why do the same words mean different things from different people?  In Proverbs 16:24, it says, "Kind words are like honey--sweet to the soul and healthy for the body."  Our words can have the power of life and death.  It may be hard for you to believe that the tongue can have such a great power over someone's life.  There may be something that seemed so minute at the time it was said, but you hold on to it for years....because of what it meant to you.  Maybe it is a comment that your grandma made about choices you were making at the time or it may have been something personal that a close friend shared.  Words play such an important role in all of our lives, whether we realize the power they hold or not.      

Words can affect our lives in many profound ways.  The words that we use can reveal things about our character.  The way we choose to use our words to build up others or tear them down can reveal so much about the state of our heart.  When you are broken inside, it is becomes harder to build others up.  God wants all of us to be healed and whole.  He wants to mend the broken places in our lives.  Allowing God to heal what is broken will definitely change the state of your heart.  God has a special purpose for each of us and it is something that He has picked especially for each one of us.  In Ecclesiastes 5:2, it says, "Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty with your heart to utter anything before God.  God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few." 

Let My Words Be Few by Phillips, Craig & Dean     

Words mean different things to different people.  To one person words may be what they cling to for reassurance and love, but to another they are just what we use to get across our point of view.  For me words are the one thing that I cling to.  Through trial and error, I am learning when to speak and when not to speak.  I am learning that my words carry way more power, than I ever knew.  Anyone that knows me, knows that I am not a women of few words.....I like to talk.  In fact, I don't really know how to be quiet most of the time.  But, over the last few weeks.....I hit a wall.  I tried desperately to write, because it is the one thing that gives me great relief when I have emotions that are all over the place.  I tried at least a handful of different times.  In fact, this post was started on April 23rd(and was my 3rd attempt).  What I didn't realize then, was that the lesson that I was supposed to learn....was to let my words be few.  In order for me to listen and hear what God was trying to tell me, I needed to be still.  That is not something that I do very well.  Psalm 37:7a says, "Be still in the presence of the LORD, and wait patiently for him to act."  It was definitely a struggle not to be able to express myself through my words, but I knew that there had to be a reason.  With God, there is always a reason for everything.

Sometimes, we get so busy trying to fix things that we don't wait patiently for God to show us what path to take. The only way that we can find out what God's best for us is, we must seek him in all we do.  Matthew 6:33 says, "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need."  This may not seem like a simple task, but putting God in front of our own desires for our life, will definitely result in blessings.  Letting go of what we think our lives are supposed to look like and being obedient to what tasks God calls us to, will forever change the way we view our lives.  If God is calling you to be obedient in some area of your life, I would listen no matter how difficult or painful it may be.  I am finding that each time I walk through the fire that God uses to purify my heart, I am blessed even more!  God loves you and wants to purify you and make you whole!  Will you be obedient and allow God to change your heart?  

Blessings,
              Jenielle

40 Meaningful Things....

After spending 10 days in California this past November with my sweet Grandmother, I was able to be refreshed and rejuvenated, which was much needed and long overdue.  I didn't realize how important it was for me as a mother and wife, to have time to myself to be refreshed.  It was the first trip that I had taken away from my four beautiful children and sweet hubby since we married in 1996.  During this time away, I was able to spend most of my evenings in the quiet and I spent a lot of much needed time with my Lord.  When I came home from this trip, I felt so different in a way that I never expected.  All of the worries that I carried day to day, didn't seem to bother me when I returned home.  Something else that touched me during my trip was that I was able to reconnect with two old friends.  One of the friends I hadn't seen since 1995, which was also the year my hubby and I met.  Neither one of us was married at that point.  But many things have changed now, because we are both married and have 4 children.  It was so great to sit and reconnect for 5-6 hours, as if no time had passed.  It was the two friends that I reconnected with, which showed me how important friends really are in our lives.        

In the last week or so, we started back to homeschooling.  It was really nice having the break during the Christmas season, but once again some of my overwhelmed feelings have returned.  After reading a post on Facebook a few days ago, from Kristi, who was an old friend in high school, I became inspired.  The post was about 40 Meaningful Things.  Kristi posted that she wanted to celebrate her 40th birthday by doing 40 Meaningful Things for herself.  Because I too will be celebrating my 40th birthday in March, I decided that I really wanted to adopt this idea into my own life.  

As moms and wives (and some even carrying weight at jobs outside of the home), it is so easy to forget the importance of taking care of ourselves.  It is so easy to get overwhelmed with taking care of everyone else's activities and needs that we forget that we have needs also.  I was inspired by this Facebook post, because I feel that 40 Meaningful Things is a way to reconnect with our inner self.  We can really take the time to think about.....what is important in our lives?  Who is important in our lives?  Are there people that you have lost contact with that you would like to reconnect with?  Are there things that you have dreamed of doing some day....but the day has never come?  Well, the time is NOW.  We aren't getting any younger and if we continue to wait for the best opportunity.....we may miss the blessings that would come from embracing the HERE and NOW.  Are you willing to pass up this opportunity?  Or will you stop and take time for yourself, to rediscover who you are and what things are meaningful to you?  It doesn't really matter whether you are going to be 40 or not...or even if you are already 40, what matters is to take time to reconnect with WHO YOU ARE. 

The following list are some of the ideas that were posted as comments on Kristi's post.  Thank you to everyone that gave ideas!  Here are some of the ideas that were posted: piano lessons, travel somewhere, quality time with friends, write a book, run a marathon, jump out of a plane, windsurf, start a foundation, do something life changing for someone else, take a dance class, read 40 good books, exercise hard and build great muscle tone, visit family, second honeymoon, quality time with kids, sky diving or scuba diving, take a bubble bath, 40 random acts of kindness, oyster shooting, full massage, and mom & daughter weekend.  This list is not complete, but it was many of the ideas that were given.    

Here are some of the ideas for the 40 Meaningful Things that I came up with:  Be more intentional with friends, reconnect with old friends, have a regular date night with hubby, spend meaningful time with each of my kiddos, make an exercise routine schedule, forgive someone that has hurt me & reconnect, guitar lessons, write a book, pick a night each week to spend a few hours doing what I enjoy(writing, crafts, reading, etc.), random acts of kindness, write a love song, be more intentional about sharing my faith, make a quilt, try a new supper recipe each week,  pick one day a month to get together with friends to do a fun activity/craft, finish projects that are started, finish books that are started, try new foods, go on a cruise, take a honeymoon, bible study with some girl friends, be encouraging to others, blog at least weekly, be a blessing to others, a gratefulness journal, inspire my kids more to learn, take part in another half marathon, be better about acknowledging family & friends birthdays, and give God the credit for every blessing in my life.    

The lists above are meant to help inspire you, but these lists are in no way complete.  I am hoping that after you read this post, you would add at least one 'meaningful thing' to the comments below.  After talking with Kristi about her post, she expressed that the whole idea behind the 40 Meaningful Things is that it will turn into a lifestyle of capturing those important things and not just a one time event.  How great would it be if everyone took the time to reflect on things that are meaningful and enjoy life, instead of letting it pass by without experiencing the JOY that is truly possible!  Life is busy, but it is also extremely precious!  We are never promised tomorrow.  Don't wait until something drastic happens that opens your eyes to what is important.  Enjoy each day for what it brings and reflect on those moments that are meaningful in your life!  May God bless you as you seek to discover what is meaningful in your own life!

Blessings,

               Jenielle

               

Beautifully Broken

Last night, I finished the book, "Your Heart's Desire" by Sheri Rose Shepherd.  There is something about this book that touched my heart so deeply.  I would highly recommend this book to all women whether you are married, single, divorced, or widowed.  Sheri Rose Shepherd is also the author of the Princess Series and has daily devotions called His Princess Love Letters.  I receive His Princess Love Letters everyday by email and they absolutely speak to my heart most days.  If you have had struggles in your life and you have a hard time believing God's truth about you and your life....you really should check out and sign up to receive the His Princess Love Letters here. 

After I finished the book, I felt led to write a song.  Writing songs is one of the ways that I am able to find harmony in my life.  The song I wrote last night is called "Beautifully Broken", which basically talks about what God is doing in my life and the ways that he has changed and healed me.  Writing songs is something that I have done a lot of in the last few years, but this song is different.  Usually, I am able to find a tune that I think is fitting for my lyrics just by plucking around on my keyboard......but it just wasn't happening with this song.  So, tonight I did the one thing that I have never done or even tried to do.....I pulled out my guitar.  Well, actually it was my dad's guitar that I inherited in 1996.  So many times, I have tried over the years to teach myself to play and I am able to play a few chords here and there...but nothing spectacular.  I had pretty much given up on playing the guitar, because my hands are pretty small and it just didn't seem like a good fit.  And buying a smaller guitar...really isn't an option at this point.  Since, I had struggled so much with coming up with a tune for my new lyrics....I decided it couldn't hurt to break out the guitar.  And as I sat here, something amazing happened.  After ear tuning it to my keyboard (which I've never been able to do before)....I started messing around.  And the strangest thing happened.....I found a melody.  I honestly don't really even know what chords I was playing....but I was playing something....because my ears were pleased.  And then I started to cry, because God just amazes me.......how many times that I have pulled out the guitar and tried to play something....and nothing happened.  But, yet this time....I have it out for less than 5 minutes and there it is.....a melody.  I know this probably all seems really trivial. To be quite honest, I'm not even sure why I'm writing this down....except that I want my blog to document my life as it happens.  I especially want to look back and remember those amazing moments....when I am in complete AWE of this amazing God that we serve!